Im at strip club and am horny
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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