well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
