I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize