one word: firstdatebathroomanal
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
