I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
