maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
