i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
