You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
