So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
