It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
