The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My ass is underappreciated
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
