He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
