It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
