I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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