remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
How does one acquire holy water?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
