She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
