The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
