Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
