Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
