When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
