Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
