Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
