Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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