That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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