i think i have herpe
just one?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
