I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
