Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
