Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
