and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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