I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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