Having a random hookup so left but love u
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
