At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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