cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
