You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
