if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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