I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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