Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we made out on top of his cat.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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