it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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