I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
