Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
