I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
