i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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