im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Don't EVER smell your tampon
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
