She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
