so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
