Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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