Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
