I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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