saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
