Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
